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Grace in Our TestsAugust 19, 2013
Missed connections mean a three day delay in getting home to our island paradise. As I sit and wait for yet another rearranged flight, this one much longer, I ask in prayer, Is there a reason for this delay? Meaning, is there any meaning in this chaos of travel? Is there a teachable moment here?
What comes instantly is "You must not become complacent in expecting My grace. It comes in many forms and ways. It is yours to accept it on its own terms, tests and all." Words flow into my awareness: Compliant, reliant, nimble, resilient, supple. My deepest longing is to be a true seeker of the path leading to God’s will for me, for us, at this season of our lives. How to serve, what to learn, how to grow. Beyond the obvious need for deeper patience, detachment and acceptance, I sensed more. And the idea arises that one must never presume on Grace or attempt to define its boundaries. It is merely foolish to try to predict or prescribe its shape.
Someone I have loved for a long time ranted the other day about the hold religion has on people’s minds, promoting a concept of God as the great whip lasher, imposing shame and guilt as the agents of a terrible control demanding surrender or else. To me, that immature notion of spiritual reality is hell itself. As if surrender is to give up one’s truth and freedom, when for me, the opposite is true.
Seeking the Divine is not a knuckling under, though it does require exquisite humility. It is digging for a rare and precious diamond. One moment of its wild beauty is so alluring that one would sacrifice anything for another glimpse.
"If God said, ‘Rumi, pay homage to everything
that has helped you enter my arms,’
there would not be one experience of my life,
not one thought, not one feeling, not any act,
I would not bow to."
Jalal‘u’din Rumi, Sufi mystic poet
Today I choose thankfulness. I am thankful for a good hotel bed with a pillow top mattress. A nice breakfast. Access to a shower. Wifi so I can write these thoughts. The knowledge that there is another way home, however long it may take.