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The Rain of GriefOctober 27, 2012
I am experiencing an interesting phenomenon at the moment – something I wrote about in Graceful Endings. Just when we think that enough months or years have passed after a loss that we are on the other side of the ocean of grief, a new wave can rise up. My emotions, my sense of loss, mixed with profound gratitude and joy, keeps getting triggered. Probably because I am so involved in sharing my new book these days, on radio, in interviews, at my upcoming launch, my brother John is on my mind. He died more than three years ago, which in itself seems strange to say, since it feels as though it was eons ago and yet just yesterday.
My tears are just below the surface and come bursting out without warning, for several days in a row now. I watched a documentary that made me think of John. I heard a song we loved to listen to together. I read a chapter in my book, supposedly checking once more for typos. I was at a meeting of a circle of friends. And they flowed.
What I am rediscovering is that any one grief brings up all our grief. There is a pool, which may have remained dormant for a while, yet it is always there. It is so important, when grief appears for ourselves or others, to respond with compassion rather than to react with judgment, or advice, or little sayings meant to comfort. They are invariably healing tears and their release is part of the journey of life.
It’s a rainy Autumn in our part of the world these days. My tears blend in well. So, I say, let it rain!