Please Note: Linda's blog has moved to her new website:
From now on, please visit her new website to enjoy all her upcoming blogs

Balance Your Virtues

September 8, 2015

In our upcoming trip out of these islands, which have become our home, Dan and I have agreed to briefly come out of retirement to speak at conferences and facilitate some healing work with First Nations. It is work we love, so it is likely to empower us rather than drain us. We're praying and reflecting on what we, as elders, can share.

More than two and a half decades of writing about the Divine virtues, constantly studying and trying to live by them, I am still in awe of them. One reason is that there is always more to learn. I believe it is because they are the infinite qualities of God and of our souls, as we attempt to reflect the image and likeness of our Creator.

At a Virtues Project conference in Perth, Dan introduced the idea that the angels of virtue "fly in flocks". It has occurred to me that every virtue has companion virtues as well as balancing virtues. There are virtues that are like sisters, such as Kindness, Compassion, Consideration, and Caring; or Trust, Truthfulness, Trustworthiness, Honor and Honesty. It is also true that we can easily overdo a virtue if we do not balance it with another. To stand on our holy ground, we need one foot in one virtue and one foot in another.

For example, if we love too much, we can fall "head over heels in love." A local friend told me about her partner, "I love him so badly." She often suffers and weeps from needing his assurances of love, which he sees as unnecessary. "I'm still here, aren't I?" When we love someone "badly", it's all too easy to do bad things to get them and keep them, which is pretty toxic when mixed with jealousy and guilt. We lose our dignity and we lose ourselves. Been there and done that. Early in our marriage, I found that other women were "after" Dan, sent him secret notes on Valentine's Day, and looked at him with longing. I was very insecure and bitterly jealous. I also felt betrayed since supposedly, they were my friends. My constant need for reassurance was driving poor Dan nuts. I felt more and more unattractive, and I was! So, I prayed. "Lord, I can't live like this and neither can Dan. I can't find my Detachment. I need You to give it to me." To my amazement (and Dan's) the jealousy just stopped. I was no longer tormented, and once again he could see the woman he fell in love with, not the wild-eyed needy child fearing abandonment.

Loving someone too much isn't love. It's attachment. Poet and author Maya Angelou says, "True love is liberating. It sets us free." One of my favorite quotes from poet William Blake is, "He who bends to himself a joy, doth the winged life destroy, but he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sunrise." There have to be spaces between two lovers in order for attraction to remain strong. Love must be balanced by Independence. This is the secret of lasting happiness and steadfast love. Self-Respect is magnetic.

We will be addressing a Virtues Project Global Mentorship Conference just before Canadian Thanksgiving, and I've started thinking about what flock Thankfulness belongs to. I'm going to speak about Thankfulness, Gratitude, Appreciation, Grace and Contentment and how they are related. All of them are receptive virtues that attract bounty and prosperity. Perhaps their balancing virtues are Generosity, Service and Sacrifice. It is even more blessed to give than to receive.

Our research in the world's sacred texts reveals that if we develop just one virtue to the fullest extent possible for us, we attract and connect to all the virtues. So, it's simple. Pick one and give it your all. Then find its balancing virtue and life will be more joyous, more fulfilling than you can imagine.


Author photo
Linda Kavelin-Popov

More Posts:
    (July 23, 2016)

  • Time Management for Spiritual Efficiency
    (July 13, 2016)

  • Virtues are the Keys to Success
    (June 29, 2016)

  • The Gifts of Family
    (June 9, 2016)

  • Family Reunions: Blues or Blessings?
    (June 1, 2016)

  • Mothering
    (May 17, 2016)

  • Learning to Die
    (April 29, 2016)

  • The Power of Presence
    (April 15, 2016)

  • Set Your House in Order
    (March 30, 2016)

  • An Easter Journey
    (March 21, 2016)

  • Living Whole Heartedly
    (March 17, 2016)

  • Determination – the Dream Keeper
    (February 24, 2016)

  • Educating the Whole Child
    (February 3, 2016)

  • Virtues in Paradise
    (January 22, 2016)

  • New Year Hopes for 2016
    (January 12, 2016)

  • Reflections on a Year of Humility
    (December 31, 2015)

  • Home is where the heart is
    (December 15, 2015)

  • Coming Full Circle
    (November 24, 2015)

    (November 14, 2015)

  • Gathering for Gratitude
    Global Mentorship Canada 2015

    (October 30, 2015)

  • Raising the Virtuous
    (October 6, 2015)

  • Too Blessed to be Stressed
    (September 21, 2015)

  • Whatever You Do
    (August 30, 2015)

  • Recognising Teachable Moments
    (August 7, 2015)

  • Celebrate Life
    (July 27, 2015)

  • Tap the Power of Thought
    (July 2, 2015)

  • Hope
    (June 17, 2015)

  • Call on your A Team
    (June 6, 2015)

  • From Violence to Virtues
    (May 24, 2015)

  • Banking on Virtues
    (May 18, 2015)

  • A Mother’s Virtues
    (May 9, 2015)

  • Virtues Shine
    – in a South Pacific College

    (April 28, 2015)

  • Being a Good Spiritual Accountant
    (April 23, 2015)

  • Bullying in the Workplace
    (April 13, 2015)

  • Easter
    (April 2, 2015)

  • The Best Present
    (March 13, 2015)

  • A Virtues Valentine
    (February 14, 2015)

  • Cleaning Up Our Act
    (February 10, 2015)

  • A Pace of Grace for 2015
    (January 18, 2015)

  • Choosing Your Best Life in 2015
    (January 2, 2015)

  • Gifts from the Heart
    (December 22, 2014)

  • Transform Holiday Stressing to Holy Day Blessing
    (December 6, 2014)

  • An Attitude of Gratitude
    (November 27, 2014)

  • Simple Ways to Bring Joy to Children
    (October 25, 2014)

  • A Perfect Day
    (October 8, 2014)

  • Let Peace Begin with Me
    (September 18, 2014)

  • Islands of Love
    (September 4, 2014)

  • Keeping Love Alive
    (August 16, 2014)

  • Integrity: Taking the High Road
    (July 27, 2014)

  • Parenting in Paradise
    (July 18, 2014)

    (July 6, 2014)

  • Help Strikes Again
    (June 24, 2014)

  • Help for Troubled Souls
    (June 13, 2014)

  • Tapping the Power of Wisdom
    (June 1, 2014)

  • Path Finder
    (May 9, 2014)

  • Discover Your Joy Quotient
    (April 17, 2014)

  • Trustworthiness: Lemon with a Twist
    (April 3, 2014)

  • Spring Forward
    (March 20, 2014)

  • Appreciation
    (March 7, 2014)

    (January 22, 2014)

  • Virtues Path for a New Year
    (December 31, 2013)

    (December 17, 2013)

  • Thanksgiving is Conducive to Bounty
    (November 28, 2013)

  • Flow
    (November 11, 2013)

  • SUCCESS-ion Planning
    (October 23, 2013)

  • In the Moment
    (September 22, 2013)

  • Be Here Now
    (September 17, 2013)

  • Grace in Our Tests
    (August 19, 2013)

  • A Pace of Grace Revisited
    (August 5, 2013)

  • Only Us
    (May 29, 2013)

  • Barbecues and Blessings
    (May 8, 2013)

  • Decisions in Paradise
    (April 23, 2013)

  • Daffodil Memorial
    (April 14, 2013)

  • How Full is Your Fruit Bowl?
    (March 20, 2013)

  • Rediscovering Joy
    (March 12, 2013)

  • Planning Your One Wild and Precious Life
    (January 30, 2013)

  • The Power of Intention
    (January 4, 2013)

  • From Violence to Virtues
    (December 21, 2012)

  • What can we do – before and after a tragedy?
    (December 15, 2012)

  • The Presence of Light
    (November 30, 2012)

  • Circles of Compassion
    (November 21, 2012)

  • Dare to Stop Postponing Joy
    (November 5, 2012)

  • The Rain of Grief
    (October 27, 2012)

  • Opening to Gratitude
    (October 18, 2012)

  • The Power of Gratitude
    (October 8, 2012)

  • Time to Celebrate
    (September 22, 2012)

  • The Gifts of Waiting
    (September 13, 2012)

  • Linda’s First Post
    (September 1, 2012)